I Facebooked Your Mom!
Ok…so…who remembers facebook when it came out back in 2004? I sure do. I was an original member back when it was only like 50,000 people strong. What happened to the days where all you could do was add a friend, send a message, or post on someone’s wall? Oh yeah…and also do you remember when you actually had to be a STUDENT IN COLLEGE with a valid school email address? It has just gotten ridiculously out of hand in the last couple of years.
What newer functions I am in favor of:
-Status Updates: It is a chance to inform people of where you are, what you are doing, or what has recently happened to you without actually having to talk to you. (See Deterioration of Social Society blog TBA). Also, it is a way for more eccentric people to be clever and use wordplay to create some sort of satirical or comedic comment pertinent to something happening in today’s society. Also, I think its sweet than you can comment on someone’s status instead of randomly posting it on their wall, not attached to anything, leaving the other user grasping at straws to figure out what you meant by saying, “Oh yeah, bananas are great, but they are nothing compared to grapefruit.”
-Giving Gifts: I thought the gift giving thing was pretty cool when it came out a few years ago. It was a way to either express how you felt about someone (a box of candies: be my valentine) or to make a joke or cleverly pepper in some phrase with a completely random gift (toilet paper: because you’re the shit).
-Fan Sites/Causes: I like the idea that you can pledge in support of a cause or a political figure or an Actor or a movie or a musician etc. If you are trying to really portray the kind of person you are and what interests you have, this function allows you to be properly represented.
-Photo/Video Wall Posting: This is probably my favorite new feature from Facebook. The fact that I can actually post a video or a picture that the recipient can see by just looking at their profile is awesome. Bef0re you had to post a link or, God forbid, actually send an email with the attachment of a photo. Also, if you have a webcam, you can post a video you record just for that person on their wall. Its cool, as long as you’re not posting something really personal.
-Facebook IM: I love facebook IM because you can easily contact someone who just posted on your wall or sent you a message or an event invitation. Its also nice because it eliminates programs such as MSN Messenger and AIM (shittiest program ever). (Side note: iChat is awesome). But I think if Facebook plays their cards right, they could have some sort of video messenger available, just as most of the popular messaging programs have. (See Deterioration of Social Society blog TBA).
So, you are now aware of the newer functions that I approve of on Facebook…now time for a good old fashioned Facebook beatdown:
-Bumper Stickers/Flair: Ok, so bumper stickers…yippee?…you can send a clever little quip of a movie accompanied by a picture…or something about how much you drink on the weekends or how you are bff’s forever. Fuck that! Oh yeah, and flair? What the fuck is that? Basically its a scaled down version of a bumper sticker, but, for its size, its much more annoying. Remember when bumper stickers and flair were displayed on your home page? It was kind of cool then, but now you have to click an extra 3 clicks just to see someone else’s flair or bumper stickers. But honestly, who cares? The only people that are going to care about your bs/flair is yourself and the person who sent it to you. I dont know…I just dont even bother with that anymore…terrible!
-Top Friends: Ok, talk about a serious rip off of MySpace (which I absolutely loathe). Plus, do you really want to put yourself in that position with your good friends? Of course everyone has there couple of really tight knit friends who are at the top of the list…but what about the other 20 people they have on there? Plus, what if I thought I was someone’s really good friend, but then, I find out….what the fuck?…why am i number 12 on your top friends, behind people I have never met and they barely know? I dont know, I dont really care about stuff like that, but i know people that do and its pathetic…and just perpetuated by the Top Friends application.
-Superwall: Seriously…wtf is a Superwall? I dont really think anyone knows…but for some reason i have one and cant quite figure out how to get rid of it (just as many other applications associated with my profile). Superwall?…SuperPointless.
-Vote Your Friends: Right…I’m really going to vote that one of my friends is better looking than the other or a better cook than the other…AND THEN, have them be able to see that I voted that! Talk about provoking drama! A larger percentage of the people on facebook are young and immature now, so apps like this seem cool, until little Jennifer finds out that 12 people she is friends with voted her most ugly and develops a complex which will eventually lead to $50,000 in plastic surgery over the next 20 years of her life. Just aweful Facebook…AWEFUL!
-Quizzes/Which “fill in the blank” are you?: Wow…I didn’t think people actually needed a quiz to figure out who they were based on a TV show or a movie or an alcoholic beverage. Which Sex and the City girl are you? What mixed drink are you? Which disney character are you? First off, almost every one of these little quizzes are female based. There’s no quiz that asks men, “What football player are you most like?” or “Which muscle car best represents you?” I am just so sick of seeing people, mainly girls, with two sections on their homepage saying “Im a ‘Cosmopolitan’” and “I am ‘Charlotte’”. I mean, honestly…do you really not know yourself that you need a quiz to tell you that you have an outgoing personality, are good with people, but is reserved with your serious emotions? I want to meet the person that takes a Facebook quiz and says “OMG, thats totally me!” I think you knew that before you took the quiz.
-Advertisements: I think only once have I actually clicked on one the advertisements that adorn the right side of your Facebook web page. The only reason I clicked it is because it was in reference to one of my favorite musicians coming to town and the purchasing of tickets. But, really…I read an advertisement the other day that had a picture of an Asian woman and the title of the ad was “Like Asian Girls?”. That is just aweful. What is interesting is that the ads are geared towards you based on your gender, interests, music taste, movie taste and age. Most of the men’s ads are technology or dating websites. Im not sure on the women’s side, but I know that I cannot even stand to look at a lot of the ads that present themselves on my page unwelcomed. But, I suppose it is great marketing strategy by Facebook, because now they are really raking in a ton of extra money. I also wonder if the people that advertise on Facebook actually receive an increase in their business or clientele?
And now…my least favorite thing about Facebook…
-Anyone can join: So, back when Facebook first started, up until about 2 years ago or so, you had to be a college student with a valid college email address in order to sign up to be a part of the Facebook student networking community. Now, anyone that has a valid email address can sign up for Facebook and have access to all of the people that have also signed up for it. To give a spectrum of the problem…my 13 year-old cousin is in 8th grade and just got a Facebook account…some of my friends parents have a Facebook account…and, of course, I have a facebook account, the only real college student out of the 3 that have an account. Also, some of the material on facebook is inappropriate for kids younger than college or even high school. But, what i think bothers me the most is that, if I become friends with my best friend’s mom, she automatically can see my sloppy, drunken pictures of the weekend before, weird and gross stuff that gets posted on my wall daily by my good friends, and personal details of my social life that I would like to keep away from the preying and judgemental eyes of one of my friend’s parents or even my own parents. Also, talk about kicking up the amount of weird contact between strangers and young kids, sometimes adults to kids or kids to kids. I know that my little cousin sometimes accepts friend requests from people he doesn’t know because he thinks its cool to have a lot of friends. I just think there should be more of a restriction on who is allowed to sign up and be on facebook. Enough with the “everybody’s welcome” attitude. If you really want to create a community where everyone can take part, branch off and create a new division of facebook for adults, or family, or middle school students, or high school students. But please, why can’t we just get back to the basics of facebook and have only college people or people who are recently out of college, still starting out? I think its all about volume and money, which is really shitty that its come to that.
Ok, so…overall, I would say that Facebook has made some great improvements over the years, however, have made so many terrible applications and features, that i cringe everytime I login. Granted, I am 100% guilty of checking my facebook constantly and posting on people’s walls regardless of what i hate with the website. But I think it is a good place to catch up with old friends or make plans with people or set up party invitations or concerts and even double check on someone’s birthday before you call them 3 days early thinking they are 2 years older than they actually are. I dont know…I would really like to hear some feedback from Facebook users or people that have sworn off Facebook or refuse to use it. For me, right now, the good is barely outweighing the bad because the bad I can ignore with relative ease…however, I have a feeling that all of the shit that I hate about Facebook is going to harder to avoid. The new Facebook has a over 150 million people from all over the world networking with this site, so I guess they are doing something right…but that still doens’t negate the fact that Facebook has really gotten away from their roots and now are trying to fuck things up by having that “corporate, make money fast and often” mentality. It sickens me! But let’s here some feedback on this one people…I know you are out there!
Cheers,
Gladington McCoffee
themselves experts on the plant should know this information. But how can something that has stood the test of time as a recreational drug to be consumed socially, and illegally, to being something that many doctors today research to help prevent, treat, and cure certain diseases and medical ailments.
